August 27, 2005

High Anxiety


We got an itinerary last Sunday and I have been nervously thinking about the trip all week long. I have been on the internet reading about it and trying to find out that all important question….can I use my American hair drier there? Another important question….how to entertain myself on a five hour flight to New York City, where we will board a plane to fly all night long to Tel Aviv.….should I bring my own pillow and blankie?

Yes, you read correctly…we’re going to Israel! A couple in our church is sending us and paid for it all. Charles is very excited. I am trying to be excited….but all I’m able to come up with is fear and nervous thoughts. I know that once I am on the way and physically there, I will not be as nervous, but in the mean time….which is 10 weeks…..I am feeling really skittish and letting my imagination get the best of me. Why does our mind do this to us? I even had an anxious dream about it the other night. Anxiety is a strange thing! I thought it might help to talk about it but the more I mention it to people or write about it, I have found it doesn't really ease the sensation. I realized I am talking to the wrong ears....here I've been trying to find my comfort in people and their words when the only source of true peace is always with me.

....I hate it when I do that...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

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