Midnight Psalms

Nov 4th midnight

 Psalm 96

"Sing to the Lord a new song." 

One we haven't sung before 

because there are new experiences, 

new heartaches, new troubles we haven't known before. 

Our song is new....it's different. 

But we will sing it. 

God is doing things we've never seen Him do before. 

It makes us walk in deeper faith and trust. 

We cling to Him 

because everything 

we've ever thought of as strength in our lives

 has crumbled in our hands.

 We were heading strong towards a mark 

and precious things were crushed and stolen

 from those You entrusted us with.

So our song is now a little more humble, 

a little more contrite and dependent on God. 

Our need is so much greater, 

our cry is more desperate. 

There is no more of our own strength. 

"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; bring an offering and come into His courts."

I'm remembering the glory that is due the Lord tonight 

and laying down a precious offering. 

A costly offering, 

but I know He will consume it 

with great mercy and grace. 

I'm laying this precious thing, 

this pearl, down on Your altar. 

I offer this to You for Your will and purpose. 

Breathe new life in and cast all that is evil out. 

Your mercies are new every morning. 

Great is Your faithfulness, Oh Lord.

Some morning I want to wake

 to a new song 

of victory

 over what was restored 

and given back ten fold.

I waited patiently for the Lord;

    he inclined to me and heard my cry.

 

He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

    out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

    making my steps secure.

 

He put a new song in my mouth,

    a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear,

    and put their trust in the Lord.   Psalm 40:1-3

For the Lord your God is living among you.

    He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

    With his love, he will calm all your fears.

    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.  Zeph 3:17

I'll wait for You.

Filled to the measure

Fullness sounded like such a great word a few weeks ago.

Then I was listening to or reading something about 2 weeks ago....I can't remember where... I was instantly taken away in thought about it. The thought was that in order to be filled with one thing you have to be empty of all else.

If a cup is full of water, that means there is no tea in it. It is filled with water.

I realize of course, that this will not be easy. The emptying has begun and it seems to be emptying through my eyes. Leaking, pooling, downright weeping. No point in wearing eye makeup these days. I'm being emptied.



Paul asked God to bless his friends with the fullness of God.
  

For this reason I kneel before the Father,   

from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  

 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you 

with power through his Spirit in your inner being,   

 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  

 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, 

to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,   

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge

—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:14-19

I love that.  I guess I still think it's a great word. 

And then he concluded the prayer with this:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, 

according to his power that is at work within us,   

to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus 

throughout all generations, for ever and ever! 

Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

For His glory, according to His power, immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.....throughout all generations. Forever.

I may have to buy stock in the Kleenex tissue company.

Gracious Blessings

  So the Word became human and made his home among us. 

He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness.  

And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son...

 

 From his abundance [fullness] we have all received one gracious blessing after another.

John 1:14-16

Our first Sunday service of the year, the floor was opened up for testimonies on what God had done in our lives in 2013. One by one, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ stood to honor God's gracious blessing in their life. My tears would not stop flowing. 

He's been so good to them....to us.... to me...

....I'm not talking about our great circumstances, material wealth or ease of life, but because of God's work, guidance, care and favor in spite of our circumstances.... because of His abundant grace in our lives.  And it is absolutely radiant in these dear people. 

"From his abundance [fullness] we have all received one gracious blessing after another."

We have all received one gracious blessing after another. Look around and you'll see God's grace in the lives around you, as well as in your own. Then take time to acknowledge it, honor Him. It's kind of like treasure hunting.

It's been 3 weeks now and I can't seem to keep my eye makeup on through a worship service since then. There is a real connection between gratefulness and sincere worship...looking back to remember what He's done, acknowledging His work and His grace in our lives. Then worship flows.

In health or in warfare, there is fullness of joy in the presence of the Lord

Is January zipping by for everyone or is it just me! I need to get back in the habit of posting here, but I'm not making any promises....or resolutions.

I'm just not a resolute type of person I guess. There are many things I should be resolute about, but, ehn. So a few years ago, I gave up making New Year resolutions and began asking God to give me a word for the year.

I began this spiritual practice at the end of 2010, being challenged by a group of other pastors' wives I am involved with. Here is my little history of what God's shown me in the past few years....

2011 Joy ....coming after a few terribly stressful years. The housing crisis hit and we were devastated and humbled by it. I lost 2 jobs because of lay offs.  I felt very unsure of myself and vulnerable. These, along with a lot of other things that involved loss, just made it a difficult series of years for us that led up to 2011. In fact, when I got this word after praying for one, I kept rethinking it. I was in such a state of being humbled and vulnerable that I kept thinking it was just wishful thinking and not something from God. But it was, it kept being confirmed to me and I finally, thankfully, accepted it.

Even though it wasn't a perfectly happy and pain free year, God developed an inner peace and contentment throughout that year that I truly realized the truth I did know in my head, I just wasn't practicing it. Joy comes from within, from being submitted to the Lord, grateful and obedient to Him, not from outer circumstances. The word could have been trust, because I was learning to trust what He was doing in our life, but that was the process....the gift was accepting joy.

The beginning of that year found us packing up our home and moving to a very cheap rental house, wondering what would come next. But it was a freeing time too. We no longer had a huge house payment and I did not have to work. We could afford for me to stay home again and it was...joyful. We were content to live in that little rental house and had plans to be there for as long as we could foresee. But the end of the year found us moving into a large, beautiful home owned by a generous person who charged us less rent than the cheap rental house. We learned to be content and find joy wherever we were. It was kind of an amazing journey of letting go of stuff and trusting what God was doing.

2012 Health ....not striving for health (which was my first thought), but a gift of... an answer to a lot of different health problems that did not seem connected. I was beginning to feel very worn down,  used up and in pain a lot. In February an ultrasound for female things showed that I had a left kidney full of stones. Even though I'd had numerous kidney stones before, I had no idea that was where my pain and problems were coming from. After a grueling 2 lithotripsies and an emergency hospitalization, I remembered an old friend's kidney stone problem was caused by an overactive parathyroid gland, so I mentioned that to my doctor. One simple blood test later, I ended up having one of my parathyroid glands taken out and wow, what a difference! I'm so thankful.

2013 War. Scary word, but I was invited to join in the spiritual warfare that was raging against my family and our church. The word Victory was popping up all over the place, even the day after I got this word, so it was a very hopeful time, even though it was a very hard year....the hardest of my life. There were many victories too. Trust me.

This is the main reason I have not blogged very often this year. The things going on in my life and head were a little too personal and not really about me, so I could not share.

2014 Fullness

 Are you kidding me! Bring it! I am ready. Already I am hearing this word pop up in my husband's sermons....even before telling him my word. And see it all the time in my devotional time.  I made a Pinterest board on it. The verse I'm mainly focused on is Psalm 16:11...

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16:11 NAS

Fullness only comes from God, so I am eagerly anticipating this year and what He will show me. God is so good to us in that group of women I meet with, giving us a little glimpse of the year, a little prophetic word to hold on to, to anticipate....  Each woman has a story to tell about their words. He is active and working and teaching us so much.

Signs in the Sky

I would never have classified myself as a signs and wonders type of person. I mean I always knew God could perform signs and wonders if He wanted to, but I didn't think they were necessarily something for my daily life.

But y'know what? That is changing. It's not that the signs and wonders weren't there before, it's that I didn't recognize them. I wasn't looking or expecting anything. God is working all the time, all around us. He wants us to join in and notice......to be grateful and mindful of His power and presence.

A couple of weeks ago, Maggie and I were driving in to Albuquerque for a driver's education practice and I looked up at the mountains that divide Albuquerque from our East Mountain area. I always look at them when we're driving and since she was driving, I was really looking. It's a beautiful view of the green covered sweeping mountain ridge, lately with patches of yellow aspen. Right above the top of the ridge--I kid you not!--was a semicolon. It was made from a couple of small clouds. It was the only patch of clouds I could see, sitting there all alone in a perfect backwards semicolon. I even pointed it out to Maggie and she said yes, it was a semicolon and added that I was weird. (I was a little excited, that's all)

Punctuation in the sky.

It gets your attention. It is weird.

I dropped her off to drive with her instructor and then I had to google semicolon to see what it's purpose is because, clearly it was a sign of some sort.

--A semicolon is used to join 2 independent, yet somewhat related, statements.
--Semicolons are described by writers as old fashioned, middle class, and optional.
--Semicolons can be used to link transitional phrases.
--Semicolons are used to separate words of opposed meaning.
--They also allow for a rapid change of direction in a sentence.

 In full time ministry lifestyle, we are constantly praying for God to put a kind of symbolic semicolon into people's lives.

Charlie used drugs to escape the emptiness of life; when he turned his life over to Christ, he was set free and now has direction and Hope.

Susan's life was all about fighting for cause after cause; God showed her true purpose in life, to let Him love others through her.

Our church has been prayer walking together at least once a month in different neighborhoods. It is amazing what you are led to pray for someone by just walking by their property. It gets very personal and it's obvious that people need a semicolon these days. The last 3 uses listed anyway.

--To link transitional phrases.
--To separate words of opposed meaning.
--Allows for a rapid change of direction in a sentence.

On October 31st we will be taking the children of our church trick or treating in a neighborhood near our church. As the children go to the doors, the adults will be covering that household in prayer. The children will hand the person answering the door a small gift bag with a little gift and a card that tells them we care and have prayed for their household.

We want to see that huge semicolon inserted into people's lives....transitions, radical changes, true Hope where there is now only emptiness.

Snapping back

This past week my mind has snapped back into action. Toward the end of last year, I asked God for a word for the year. I do this each year, the past few years and it is amazing what God shows me. It opens my eyes spiritually. The word He gave me for this year is war. NOT a lackadaisical kind of word....not one you really look forward to having for a whole year.  Not a real pleasant word. But then I thought about how God works. I remembered I had a  Pinterest board about it. Just looking at the pins on that board, mostly Bible verses, I feel strength to jump back in....because I got lazy and the enemy gained ground.


So anyway, being snapped back into action and all. I was reminded like a slap in the face, that I am in a year of warfare. And war is proactive. There is nothing passive about it unless you want to get creamed.

And I don't want that.

So I am stepping back on the battlefield today, right now. I thought maybe someone who reads this may need the same encouragement to get back in their armor. We are all involved in this battle. And it is never in vain. We must fight for each other.

God help us.

The Dovecot

I love it when I'm doing something ordinary and something extraordinary happens.

My sister Julie asked me to send her Hannah and Bradley's new address. They are on their honeymoon, so I was trying to figure out their house number on my own. I looked it up on Google maps and then clicked on the street view option. I couldn't see the house number but while I was looking at it from different angles something else jumped out at me.

So I took a screen shot of the Google map view.

In one angle of the street view, there are two birds (they look like doves) taking flight right in front of the one eave on the house. It is a tiny, tiny house....400 square feet I think. When my sister Julie saw it last week, she said it reminded her of the little cottage where Meg and John Brook live in Little Women. They called it the Dovecot.

I love how symbolic it is that the doves are just taking off in flight, just like the newlywed couple.

Many, many blessed times and years to them.

Things I haven't blogged about lately...

This is my catch up list! (with very fancy bullet points)

- I sent Maggie off on a mission trip. Our youth group went to Oakland/San Francisco, California to help clean up a neighborhood and be Light to the people there. They have some wonderful stories too!
- Sent Charles off to Phoenix (you are seeing a trend here I assume) to perform a wedding and to pack up our outdoor furniture, grill, chiminea, lawn mower, weed whacker, and assorted other outdoorish things. We didn't have room in our original moving truck for these things and have been begging and borrowing lawn mowers and eating only indoor cooked foods since we moved here so...YAY! We've also broken every folding camping chair we had except one because we sit on our deck so much. Love having our furniture set again. Love having a mowed lawn and grilling food outside.
- I flew to Phoenix 2 days after Charles to attend Hannah's wedding shower at her sister-in-law-to-be's house. Then we went whirlwind shopping to try to find a bridesmaid dress for Emma which was unsuccessful but fun. Then I met Charles at the church, where the wedding he reception he was involved with was wrapping up, hopped into the small moving truck drove with him back to Albuquerque (from which I flew away early that same morning). We arrived somewhere around 3:30am, bleary eyed and almost in an altered state! ;)
- Youth mission team arrived back on Monday night but without Maggie. Her sisters picked her up as they drove through Flagstaff and she has been in Phoenix visiting ever since. She helped with our former church's Vacation Bible School this past week and left yesterday to go to youth camp with her old youth group until Tuesday. She will be home Thursday, when my sister will drive up to visit for a few days.
- I have found that life around here is either full steam, barreling ahead or it's completely quiet and peaceful until your ears are ringing. Maggie described it that it's like being dropped in honey....every. thing. slowwwwwws. doooooown. Meditate on this for a while. It's taken a while to get used to but we are enjoying it now. I think it's healthy and was needed. And now imagine floating in honey without a Maggie in the house. You've gone from honey to molasses in January. I am cracking up because that is exactly what it was like for a week or so. .....and then the barreling starts.
- In one long weekend we volunteered at a field day for the community center's children's summer recreation program. I manned the dart game.....with real darts with one inch stickers on the ends. (Yes, that was as intimidating and stressful as it sounds when you are assisting keyed up K-6th graders with dangerous weapons) Sunburn number one happened.
- The very next day, our church put on a block party. Our church does a block party every summer as a way to get to know the community better. But this year we also did it as a fund raiser for a neighbor of ours named Steve. On Memorial Day weekend, our neighbor 7 houses down the road lost his house in a fire. Sometimes it takes something tragic to bring people together and we have seen how God's used this tragedy to bring our neighborhood closer. No one was hurt in the fire, but he lost everything. As a single dad, he's been blown away by the community's concern and help for him. We had tons of help at the block party, but with prep, set up, greeting and visiting with dozens of new people, helping an out of town youth group get set up and know what to do, and standing for 7 hours, hooo, baby, I was wiped out. We didn't feel it until we hit our front door. It was a great day, full of energy and neighbors becoming friends, and people pouring out money and concern for Steve.
- Had the out of town youth group over for the afternoon after the block party while they did their debriefing and finished their blog and photo booth projects. Fed them tacos. (Thankfully they cleaned up my kitchen afterwards! Very cool.) Then they left for the next leg of their mission trip and we basically collapsed into a heap. :)
- Sunday was youth led worship and service. They all gave testimonies about their mission trip and what God did in their own lives. Leadership team meeting after church until almost 6pm. I did not contribute much, just kind of sat there and tried to stay focused and take notes for the newsletter.
- This week, I demanded Charles actually take a day off. He was very willing after that busy weekend. So we decided to tour northern New Mexico. We drove up to Taos, visited a place he wants to take our young adult group for a retreat in a month and drove home that evening. It was beautiful weather and scenery. This is a spectacular place with a lot of unspoiled wilderness and natural beauty. There is not even a big highway that goes up there, you have to take little state highways and figure out your route carefully to get where you want to go.
- The forest fires here are mostly out now and the rain has finally been falling....almost daily! It's like everything in our yard has come back to life and the trees of our field are clapping their hands in delight of moisture and blessing. It's refreshing to the human soul as well.
- I've been getting curriculum and classes lined up for Maggie because we are going back to homeschooling this year! She is done with dramatic drama in schools and is ready to focus on school and enrichment studies without the anxiety. She auditioned for a concert choir in a homeschool enrichment studies program and made it in. And in a week she will begin driver's education class at a school in Albuquerque. Our last girl to start driving. I find it is one of the most stressful times in my life, when my kids start driving. But God uses it to grow my faith and trust in Him every time! I will have to write on that in another post.


God is good. He is giving us vision and showing us where to join in with Him in this community....where our church fits in and how we can be effective here to show His love and be His Light. 

- ETA: The men's breakfast was held in my house this morning, giving me time to hide out in my room and write this post. Last night I told someone I wasn't going to come out of my room until the kitchen was clean. And it was! Thank you to the guys! My husband made bisquits & sausage gravy, scrambled eggs and orange juice ...another man brought bacon. And now my kitchen is all clean and Charles is out mowing the lawn while I was adding some Miracle Grow to my gardens. Everything is growing great now that the air has a little moisture in it and it's been raining each day. I will try to post a picture soon. 

Droughts

The days have been warm enough this week to turn on the cooler around 1pm and keep it on until evening. It does a great job cooling down the house.  It's a swamp cooler, not air conditioning. And it's very effective here in this very dry climate. I think it's a lot drier here than it is in Phoenix....my lips get chapped quite often.

We are praying for rain. They've had a few years of drought here and there are now 4 big forest fires raging in the mountains around us...not our mountain range, but near enough to see the smoke. Last night I could hear the thunder and saw a few sprigs of lightning light up my living room window, but the rain did not fall on our neighborhood. I go out every morning and walk through the powdery dust of our front yard and water my little vegetable garden. The birds all fuss at me to fill the bird bath with water. There is never any moisture left in it 24 hours later.

The other night I was invited to eat dinner with a church friend. Our husbands were both out of town, so we planned a visit. She lives at the very top of a mountain. We sat out on the patio as the sun went down behind us and watched the mountain ranges change colors, the smoke from distant fires blew down the valleys and the lights of the nearby neighborhoods and then of Santa Fe came up and glistened as we chatted. Hummingbirds zipped all around our heads by the dozens! I think there were about 2 dozen of them at least, coming to her feeders to get their last sips of the day. A few times we saw 10-12 birds on one feeder, all sitting shoulder to tiny shoulder, heads popping up occasionally to peep at each other. I loved it! There were also all sorts of birds at other feeders and coming to drink at the pond and waterfall in front of us. She and her husband had very lovingly made an oasis in the dry climate. Plants, flowers and water all carefully placed and planned out, chairs and pathways in just the right places to catch the different venues of wildlife, nature and views.

We talked about our lives, where we'd lived, our families, our coming to know Christ. We talked about our love for the area and for nature. And we talked about how dear it is to have such a great fellowship of Christian friends here in the middle of this spiritually arid climate of secular society. That doesn't just happen and it is more and more dear, the older I get.  I realized that has to be carefully and lovingly cultivated as well. It takes spending time together, just sitting together in the quiet evening, chatting about life or in each others' homes learning to better handle the Word of Truth.

As darkness came, her solar lighting came on and the landscaping made it's own little island of glowing lights. I realized it was time to drive back home. The mountain road seemed endless in the pitch black night (oh, I dislike driving by myself at night) and I was never so glad to see the main highway and know I was back to other people, to streetlights and the sure way home.

I feel the same way about our little church here, so blessed to have this community in this culturally arid climate. We need the rain, so the land will flourish again. It's nice to be in an oasis of life to enjoy when the land is so starved and dry. It's a vivid picture to me of what else we're missing....God's Word and Spirit to flow out of the oasis, so the dry souls will flourish too.

God, bless the land with rain, but most of all, bless the people here. The fires are ravaging the land, but the enemy is ravaging the people with false beliefs and sin. Send refreshing showers and the life-giving nourishment of Your Truth. Let Your love flow through Your servants like rain blesses a dry land.....

Divine encounter

About 6 years ago my husband, Charles, flew to Oklahoma City to pick up a car his brother wanted our daughter Bethany to have. He visited for a day or two and then started the drive back. And around Albuquerque he began to realize this car was not going to make it back to Phoenix. In fact, it died....cracked head gasket (whatever that is, I don't usually ask). He called home to tell me he was spending the night in Albuquerque with a friend of a friend. He just happened to make the connection because he called our friend Dave to ask car advice. Dave called his friend in that city and the friend dropped everything to come and rescue my husband.

He not only gave him a ride. He arranged for towing, invited Charles back to stay at his family home for the night and fed him dinner. I remember Charles saying they were people you felt like you've always known, so friendly, hospitable and kind. The next morning Dave came from Arizona to help Charles tow the car back home but he always remembered this friend of Dave's who had come to his rescue. He said he wanted to find him and invite him to dinner and to visit our new church once we moved here to Albuquerque.

You never know Who is listening when you say things like that.... ;)

The other day we went to switch to New Mexico driver's licenses. We thought it would be quick and easy, but they require you bring documents to prove your residency and also your social security cards. As we headed away from the window, the woman helping us happened to mention that if our social security cards were laminated, they would not accept them. Ehnn, yeah, about that. Years ago we did laminate them before seeing the instructions not to on the back side. So she said we had to go to the social security office and get new ones. Sssssigh...

This was our mission this morning. We headed out with our passports, old social security cards, birth certificates, etc. We did not want to be turned away because we didn't have the right documents. I had no idea this was such a big deal. As we headed in to the office, there was a security check point, metal detector and 4 police officers checking us out. Then we entered a room of about 50 people sitting in plastic chairs, waiting for their number to be called to talk to someone about their social security needs. It did not look like fun. Drat those laminating machines!

We waited to be checked in and given a number so that we could wait some more. But when we got to the front of the line, Charles beamed and called out his old friend of a friend's name. He was the one checking people in! We were all just smiling and thinking it was an amazing chance meeting. He and Charles had a wonderful few moments of connecting again. Then, just as amazing, he said he would get us to a window right away so we wouldn't have to wait in those plastic chairs with those 50 other people and then shuttled us to the next window.

I usually don't like to take cuts, but boy oh boy....that was meant to be and we appreciated it so much. The woman helping us had us out of there in about 5 minutes. And the old friend assured us he would come visit the church in a week and come to dinner with us afterwards.

Maybe....instead of that friend being there to cut us a break, we were probably the ones who he needed to connect with. I hope he comes to our little church and finds out what God is doing in his life.

Very cool morning. You never know what a day will hold, do you?

Under Construction

The main street in front of our church is under major construction.

Tonight I thought it was a very appropriate picture of what is happening to our church too.

The Light Rail system that is going in on that street will soon be bringing all sorts of new people and businesses there. I am excited to hear how God will work there in the coming years too, because He is doing construction and bringing new people to the church as well.

Sometimes that means things look torn up for a while.

But it's not a bad thing....it's just preparation for change.

Focus

Join me.

I'm praying for the church to lift up the Lord tomorrow, all focus on Him.

No distractions, spiritual or emotional. 

No eyes on ourselves.

Just on Jesus.

Kinda like this:

When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” 

Luke 19:37-40

The bigger picture

....your purpose in life...

Some friends were discussing this last night. Immediately we started thinking of what we do....we are mothers, we serve in the church in various ways... and then one of my friends said, but really those things may pass away....children grow up and move on and we may not always serve in the same ways. But what is our purpose...and immediately a saying came to my mind. At first I wondered if it was a Bible verse, but when I searched it on the internet, it came up as the motto of the Navigators organization.

To know Christ and make Him known.

I like that. Simple but full. 

1. Love God-to know Christ.

2. Love others-help them to know Christ. 

The greatest 2 commandments.

Being a wife, mom, worker in church, home, or profession....these are the things we do, our roles. But our purpose as followers of Christ is to know Him and make Him known. At least I want it to be my purpose. It really helps define your life and heart when you come down to your one thing. If we are making our roles in life our one thing, we're not putting Christ first, but purposes that are temporal.

All of this is helping me to process with my friends our call from God to another place. I keep trying to clearly define for them why we are leaving.  But if He is clearly calling us, how could we not go?

My daughter Maggie, 15, who is moving with us and clearly feels the call also, wrote this last night on Facebook:

If God asked you to do something utterly crazy, would you have the guts to do it? What if He asked you to do something you really really don't want to do? Would you obey? Would you give your life for Him? Would you give Him a second thought? So many people get so caught up in their own life that they forget to look at the bigger picture. They forget the REAL purpose of their life. Life is an adventure that God gave us and he has the road picked out that He wants us to take. It may look a little scary now, but once you get going you will see that is was well worth it! :) Bring it on.

 She totally gets it. She hopes her friends will get it too. "It's not about me, it's about God," this life. And if we make it all about God, there are rich rewards along the way....like the friendships we've made here and amazing things God has let us see happen. If we had never come here, we wouldn't have had those friendships and experiences. So now can you see why we're excited to go? God has more out there, so we're going to follow. Not perfectly at all, just the best we can.

It's going to be worth it to see God's plan for our current church and for our next church unfolding in the next year or two. I hope we can all focus on Jesus and what He is calling each of us to do and not on the loss of a person's role in our life.... We're each on a journey with Christ and He's blessed us to come together on a part of it. I wouldn't have wanted to miss that.

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

Voices

mmm hmm

Our God is Greater

Ear to the phone, I was listening to my worried daughter talk about feeling like the enemy has control right now.  What can we do? It seems like he's getting stronger and stronger, she said. She is worried for her generation, for her friends who don't take God seriously right now. So many people following the wrong path...

The one thing the enemy wants us to do is to feel defeated....to see how strong he seems to be.

Then an answer so simple, it doesn't seem possible. One of those "do this, not that" Bible verses...full of wisdom. And it comes with a powerful promise...

Don’t worry about anything; 

instead, pray about everything. 

Tell God what you need, 

and thank him for all he has done.  

~Then you will experience God’s peace, 

which exceeds anything we can understand.~

***His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.***

 

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. 

Fix your thoughts on -----> what is true, and honorable, 

and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. 

Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. \O/

Philippians 4:6-8 (NLT)

...umm, emphases mine.  (in case you wondered)

She sounded much better, light of heart....peace-filled even... when we said good-bye.

Tried and true, that is my favorite Scripture. Thank you Lord, for the Scripture and how You fill each word of it with Your Presence and power.

Not our fight

When I mentioned that my word for the year is War, I didn't tell the whole story.

It scared me to have a word like this assigned to me. And then I remembered that the word I got for 2012 was scary too. It was the word Health.

I wasn't sure what to do with or think of this word. Was I expected to work on my health? This is how I understood it at first. So I started out going to the doctor. I'd been having vague but troubling pain and thought it was an ovarian cyst. The doctor, after blood tests, ordered an ultrasound. During the ultrasound the tech couldn't find a cyst on the side I had pain on so I asked her to look at my kidney since stones are my ongoing struggle. She looked....she moaned. I knew. It was full with 3 large stones and lots of little ones.

Two lithotripsies later, I finally did some research on something a friend told me about probably 15 years ago. She had recurring stones and had found out it was her parathyroid that was out of whack and after having it removed, she never had another stone! It seemed too good to be true, but I looked into it 15 years later. I had asked many doctors if the parathyroid could be the problem. They had all said that was very rare and I would have tons of stones if that were the case. So I never doubted them. And I never did my own research on it.

After my blood work in March came back with high calcium again (....always high....never explained), I did not ask my doctor what she knew about the parathyroid. I simply asked her if I could get a PTH blood test to see if my parathyroid hormone was too high. And she did order the test because I told her about the research I had done. This PTH hormone triggers a release of calcium from bones and teeth and sends it into the blood stream. It also causes a LOT of other symptoms that I never would have put all together with the same root cause. You can read about it on the Parathyroid page if you're interested. It is a lot more common than doctors have been educated to think and it is so easy to diagnose with that blood test.

My main symptoms were the stones (although not everyone has kidney stones with this) and also a growing depression and lethargy that was so alarming by summer that I seriously had the thought in the back of my mind that I was dying. I didn't know then that this was because of the hormone overload.

I put off seeing the surgeon until after my daughter's wedding in late October, but I wish I'd had it as soon as I knew my levels were high because I felt SO much better after the surgery. The wedding pictures showed me with heavy eyelids and looking very tired and worn. And that's how I felt. Three weeks later I had a simple out patient surgery to remove just one of my four parathyroid glands. They are normally the size of a grain of rice. The doctor said mine was the size of a peanut M&M, then remembering it was Thanksgiving time, he changed that to the size of a cranberry.  ;)

Now I'm feeling great and don't run out of energy by noon. I can barely remember that dreadful feeling of lethargy and apathy. And it wasn't until I was wondering about a word for 2013 that I realized that last year's word was something completely different than I had imagined. Health wasn't something I was supposed to achieve on my own.

I do think we should work to be healthier, but I'm saying my word for the year wasn't like that. It didn't depend on me. It was given to me as a gift! And I may not have picked up on God's intervention in it all if it hadn't been for my word of the year being health. He knew the journey I would be on this past year.

Realizing this helped me to understand the 2013 word War better. Spiritual warfare is active, it's a tool for us to use (every day). But it's a gift too. We don't do the fighting. We ask God to fight for us and for our loved ones, for our country and our world. And He is faithful and will hear our cry and answer us.

This year has been a time of waking up for me. I am so much more aware of things to pray about and people to pray for. I only hope I am faithful to keep alert to it because we frail humans tend to fall back to sleep so easily. Lord, keep us sharp and in tune to Your leading.

Practicing

Sitting in my small group circle last night listening to them discuss our book chapter, I had more than a little significant revelations in my own thoughts.

We are reading a book by John Ortberg on spiritual disciplines, but they aren't your ordinary list like 1) Have a quiet time, 2) Pray at least 30 minutes per day...early in the morning because that's more spiritual, 3) Give tithes and offerings 4) Use your spiritual gift and serve your local church.

The disciplines he writes about are more motivation disciplines like
-the practice of celebration
-practicing living in an unhurried way
-cultivating the right motivations for prayer
-serve people, put them first
-confessing your sins to others
-listening to the Holy Spirit
-the practice of secrecy
-true meditation on Scripture
-having a well ordered heart
-enduring suffering in life

The chapter we were on last night was on the practice of secrecy. Not tooting your own horn and being the hypocrite standing in the square spouting the good works you've racked up this week.

Wow, that is convicting. As we discussed this it was evident that I need to evaluate who I am seeking to please and why I mention certain things. I do feel God's approval in my life...but I do seek the applause of people more than I should. Or should I at all? sheesh! My thinking is needing a tune up.

I'm so glad we're reading this book. It's called The Life You've Always Wanted. And I think I do want it....not because it's a way to get God to answer my prayers or be blessed by Him.

   These spiritual disciplines are not easy.
                There is not checklist about them,
                       ...they are more like purging and setting your motivation right.
But because there is JOY in that kind of life.
       It's GOOD.
            It's rewarding and it's freedom.

I want that. hmmm

Merging

We had our small group here tonight. It's always a good time of meshing lives with each other. But tonight our former members who had to drop out for a while came back. They actually hijacked the night we meet and then informed us. They really wanted to be in the group again. So it's all worked out for Tuesdays and it was great to be together again.

Bruce told us he wants everyone to have their testimony ready to share at some point in the next few meetings. So that was the topic in the kitchen.  I got to hear my friend Donna's amazing testimony of how God has brought her through the past 15 years. I know God is always working, but when someone tells me the story of their faith journey it amazes me to hear how He has worked in their lives. How things connect up to show us His will, how He spoke to them or how His care was in the details of each event that happened. God's working is so personal and specific to each person. Always a unique story, always such a creative work.

And it's not about them and what a strong person they are to have gone through all they did. It's about God and how He's brought us through, so faithful to us all the way. Tonight I was amazed once again to hear this friend's story. I've known her for 6 years now, but have never heard all of her story. Why don't we make the time for that...

I'm so glad that's what small group is all about!

No Wobbling Zone

Word of the year.....

WAR


I asked God to give me a word for 2013 and I can't say that I like it, I was even kind of shocked that this is the word that kept coming to me.... but I keep getting confirmation that it's the word for me. ....or for my year...


I feel like it is for spiritual warfare. So many things are becoming very clear to me, like a curtain's been parted. I am seeing the need and I am on the assault for my family, my church, my community and people who wave their hands out of VWs as they pass by at 2:22. ;)


I picked up a book called  Praying God's Word by Beth Moore back in October of 2012. It's been sitting in the bag I carry my computer in for 3 months, unread. I fully intended on reading it, but never did. Then I got my word and the next time I was at the church office I actually opened the book. Guess what the topic is! Spiritual warfare. I had just thought it would be an interesting read....a way to deepen my prayer life. But it's all about making war on the strongholds in your life. Day to day life in the battle is not easy and it does not seem victorious. It has a whole chapter on praying with belief. Not belief in God (His Presence), but belief that He will do the things He promised and that He WILL intervene...

...and that don't mean maybe. Believing is an "oh yes He will!", not a wobbly "let's wait and see how it goes".

Words like victor and victory and victorious have been showing up consistently in my daily Bible reading. They jump out at me while I'm reading the Bible. I love that. And 6 weeks into 2013 I am already seeing victories, protection and unexpected answers. Hopefully I can share more of that as I get back into regular writing.



A reassuring thing to me was that I realized that getting a word like war was not a scary thing. Life didn't suddenly become a war zone.


It always has been.


The battle is there every day. I was just asked to join in this year. It's a gift to us.

Anyway, there it is, I said it. *raising my Sword and charging in*

Game on!

Today as I was driving along, zoning out, I noticed something in the SUV in front of me.

Two tiny arms and hands went up into the air from a car seat in that back of that car and I smiled and prayed for that little child and their family. It was my first time to try out my new little game with the Maker of little hands.

I'm going to love this game. :)