Gracious Blessings

  So the Word became human and made his home among us. 

He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness.  

And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son...

 

 From his abundance [fullness] we have all received one gracious blessing after another.

John 1:14-16

Our first Sunday service of the year, the floor was opened up for testimonies on what God had done in our lives in 2013. One by one, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ stood to honor God's gracious blessing in their life. My tears would not stop flowing. 

He's been so good to them....to us.... to me...

....I'm not talking about our great circumstances, material wealth or ease of life, but because of God's work, guidance, care and favor in spite of our circumstances.... because of His abundant grace in our lives.  And it is absolutely radiant in these dear people. 

"From his abundance [fullness] we have all received one gracious blessing after another."

We have all received one gracious blessing after another. Look around and you'll see God's grace in the lives around you, as well as in your own. Then take time to acknowledge it, honor Him. It's kind of like treasure hunting.

It's been 3 weeks now and I can't seem to keep my eye makeup on through a worship service since then. There is a real connection between gratefulness and sincere worship...looking back to remember what He's done, acknowledging His work and His grace in our lives. Then worship flows.

In health or in warfare, there is fullness of joy in the presence of the Lord

Is January zipping by for everyone or is it just me! I need to get back in the habit of posting here, but I'm not making any promises....or resolutions.

I'm just not a resolute type of person I guess. There are many things I should be resolute about, but, ehn. So a few years ago, I gave up making New Year resolutions and began asking God to give me a word for the year.

I began this spiritual practice at the end of 2010, being challenged by a group of other pastors' wives I am involved with. Here is my little history of what God's shown me in the past few years....

2011 Joy ....coming after a few terribly stressful years. The housing crisis hit and we were devastated and humbled by it. I lost 2 jobs because of lay offs.  I felt very unsure of myself and vulnerable. These, along with a lot of other things that involved loss, just made it a difficult series of years for us that led up to 2011. In fact, when I got this word after praying for one, I kept rethinking it. I was in such a state of being humbled and vulnerable that I kept thinking it was just wishful thinking and not something from God. But it was, it kept being confirmed to me and I finally, thankfully, accepted it.

Even though it wasn't a perfectly happy and pain free year, God developed an inner peace and contentment throughout that year that I truly realized the truth I did know in my head, I just wasn't practicing it. Joy comes from within, from being submitted to the Lord, grateful and obedient to Him, not from outer circumstances. The word could have been trust, because I was learning to trust what He was doing in our life, but that was the process....the gift was accepting joy.

The beginning of that year found us packing up our home and moving to a very cheap rental house, wondering what would come next. But it was a freeing time too. We no longer had a huge house payment and I did not have to work. We could afford for me to stay home again and it was...joyful. We were content to live in that little rental house and had plans to be there for as long as we could foresee. But the end of the year found us moving into a large, beautiful home owned by a generous person who charged us less rent than the cheap rental house. We learned to be content and find joy wherever we were. It was kind of an amazing journey of letting go of stuff and trusting what God was doing.

2012 Health ....not striving for health (which was my first thought), but a gift of... an answer to a lot of different health problems that did not seem connected. I was beginning to feel very worn down,  used up and in pain a lot. In February an ultrasound for female things showed that I had a left kidney full of stones. Even though I'd had numerous kidney stones before, I had no idea that was where my pain and problems were coming from. After a grueling 2 lithotripsies and an emergency hospitalization, I remembered an old friend's kidney stone problem was caused by an overactive parathyroid gland, so I mentioned that to my doctor. One simple blood test later, I ended up having one of my parathyroid glands taken out and wow, what a difference! I'm so thankful.

2013 War. Scary word, but I was invited to join in the spiritual warfare that was raging against my family and our church. The word Victory was popping up all over the place, even the day after I got this word, so it was a very hopeful time, even though it was a very hard year....the hardest of my life. There were many victories too. Trust me.

This is the main reason I have not blogged very often this year. The things going on in my life and head were a little too personal and not really about me, so I could not share.

2014 Fullness

 Are you kidding me! Bring it! I am ready. Already I am hearing this word pop up in my husband's sermons....even before telling him my word. And see it all the time in my devotional time.  I made a Pinterest board on it. The verse I'm mainly focused on is Psalm 16:11...

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16:11 NAS

Fullness only comes from God, so I am eagerly anticipating this year and what He will show me. God is so good to us in that group of women I meet with, giving us a little glimpse of the year, a little prophetic word to hold on to, to anticipate....  Each woman has a story to tell about their words. He is active and working and teaching us so much.

Signs in the Sky

I would never have classified myself as a signs and wonders type of person. I mean I always knew God could perform signs and wonders if He wanted to, but I didn't think they were necessarily something for my daily life.

But y'know what? That is changing. It's not that the signs and wonders weren't there before, it's that I didn't recognize them. I wasn't looking or expecting anything. God is working all the time, all around us. He wants us to join in and notice......to be grateful and mindful of His power and presence.

A couple of weeks ago, Maggie and I were driving in to Albuquerque for a driver's education practice and I looked up at the mountains that divide Albuquerque from our East Mountain area. I always look at them when we're driving and since she was driving, I was really looking. It's a beautiful view of the green covered sweeping mountain ridge, lately with patches of yellow aspen. Right above the top of the ridge--I kid you not!--was a semicolon. It was made from a couple of small clouds. It was the only patch of clouds I could see, sitting there all alone in a perfect backwards semicolon. I even pointed it out to Maggie and she said yes, it was a semicolon and added that I was weird. (I was a little excited, that's all)

Punctuation in the sky.

It gets your attention. It is weird.

I dropped her off to drive with her instructor and then I had to google semicolon to see what it's purpose is because, clearly it was a sign of some sort.

--A semicolon is used to join 2 independent, yet somewhat related, statements.
--Semicolons are described by writers as old fashioned, middle class, and optional.
--Semicolons can be used to link transitional phrases.
--Semicolons are used to separate words of opposed meaning.
--They also allow for a rapid change of direction in a sentence.

 In full time ministry lifestyle, we are constantly praying for God to put a kind of symbolic semicolon into people's lives.

Charlie used drugs to escape the emptiness of life; when he turned his life over to Christ, he was set free and now has direction and Hope.

Susan's life was all about fighting for cause after cause; God showed her true purpose in life, to let Him love others through her.

Our church has been prayer walking together at least once a month in different neighborhoods. It is amazing what you are led to pray for someone by just walking by their property. It gets very personal and it's obvious that people need a semicolon these days. The last 3 uses listed anyway.

--To link transitional phrases.
--To separate words of opposed meaning.
--Allows for a rapid change of direction in a sentence.

On October 31st we will be taking the children of our church trick or treating in a neighborhood near our church. As the children go to the doors, the adults will be covering that household in prayer. The children will hand the person answering the door a small gift bag with a little gift and a card that tells them we care and have prayed for their household.

We want to see that huge semicolon inserted into people's lives....transitions, radical changes, true Hope where there is now only emptiness.

Things I haven't blogged about lately...

This is my catch up list! (with very fancy bullet points)

- I sent Maggie off on a mission trip. Our youth group went to Oakland/San Francisco, California to help clean up a neighborhood and be Light to the people there. They have some wonderful stories too!
- Sent Charles off to Phoenix (you are seeing a trend here I assume) to perform a wedding and to pack up our outdoor furniture, grill, chiminea, lawn mower, weed whacker, and assorted other outdoorish things. We didn't have room in our original moving truck for these things and have been begging and borrowing lawn mowers and eating only indoor cooked foods since we moved here so...YAY! We've also broken every folding camping chair we had except one because we sit on our deck so much. Love having our furniture set again. Love having a mowed lawn and grilling food outside.
- I flew to Phoenix 2 days after Charles to attend Hannah's wedding shower at her sister-in-law-to-be's house. Then we went whirlwind shopping to try to find a bridesmaid dress for Emma which was unsuccessful but fun. Then I met Charles at the church, where the wedding he reception he was involved with was wrapping up, hopped into the small moving truck drove with him back to Albuquerque (from which I flew away early that same morning). We arrived somewhere around 3:30am, bleary eyed and almost in an altered state! ;)
- Youth mission team arrived back on Monday night but without Maggie. Her sisters picked her up as they drove through Flagstaff and she has been in Phoenix visiting ever since. She helped with our former church's Vacation Bible School this past week and left yesterday to go to youth camp with her old youth group until Tuesday. She will be home Thursday, when my sister will drive up to visit for a few days.
- I have found that life around here is either full steam, barreling ahead or it's completely quiet and peaceful until your ears are ringing. Maggie described it that it's like being dropped in honey....every. thing. slowwwwwws. doooooown. Meditate on this for a while. It's taken a while to get used to but we are enjoying it now. I think it's healthy and was needed. And now imagine floating in honey without a Maggie in the house. You've gone from honey to molasses in January. I am cracking up because that is exactly what it was like for a week or so. .....and then the barreling starts.
- In one long weekend we volunteered at a field day for the community center's children's summer recreation program. I manned the dart game.....with real darts with one inch stickers on the ends. (Yes, that was as intimidating and stressful as it sounds when you are assisting keyed up K-6th graders with dangerous weapons) Sunburn number one happened.
- The very next day, our church put on a block party. Our church does a block party every summer as a way to get to know the community better. But this year we also did it as a fund raiser for a neighbor of ours named Steve. On Memorial Day weekend, our neighbor 7 houses down the road lost his house in a fire. Sometimes it takes something tragic to bring people together and we have seen how God's used this tragedy to bring our neighborhood closer. No one was hurt in the fire, but he lost everything. As a single dad, he's been blown away by the community's concern and help for him. We had tons of help at the block party, but with prep, set up, greeting and visiting with dozens of new people, helping an out of town youth group get set up and know what to do, and standing for 7 hours, hooo, baby, I was wiped out. We didn't feel it until we hit our front door. It was a great day, full of energy and neighbors becoming friends, and people pouring out money and concern for Steve.
- Had the out of town youth group over for the afternoon after the block party while they did their debriefing and finished their blog and photo booth projects. Fed them tacos. (Thankfully they cleaned up my kitchen afterwards! Very cool.) Then they left for the next leg of their mission trip and we basically collapsed into a heap. :)
- Sunday was youth led worship and service. They all gave testimonies about their mission trip and what God did in their own lives. Leadership team meeting after church until almost 6pm. I did not contribute much, just kind of sat there and tried to stay focused and take notes for the newsletter.
- This week, I demanded Charles actually take a day off. He was very willing after that busy weekend. So we decided to tour northern New Mexico. We drove up to Taos, visited a place he wants to take our young adult group for a retreat in a month and drove home that evening. It was beautiful weather and scenery. This is a spectacular place with a lot of unspoiled wilderness and natural beauty. There is not even a big highway that goes up there, you have to take little state highways and figure out your route carefully to get where you want to go.
- The forest fires here are mostly out now and the rain has finally been falling....almost daily! It's like everything in our yard has come back to life and the trees of our field are clapping their hands in delight of moisture and blessing. It's refreshing to the human soul as well.
- I've been getting curriculum and classes lined up for Maggie because we are going back to homeschooling this year! She is done with dramatic drama in schools and is ready to focus on school and enrichment studies without the anxiety. She auditioned for a concert choir in a homeschool enrichment studies program and made it in. And in a week she will begin driver's education class at a school in Albuquerque. Our last girl to start driving. I find it is one of the most stressful times in my life, when my kids start driving. But God uses it to grow my faith and trust in Him every time! I will have to write on that in another post.


God is good. He is giving us vision and showing us where to join in with Him in this community....where our church fits in and how we can be effective here to show His love and be His Light. 

- ETA: The men's breakfast was held in my house this morning, giving me time to hide out in my room and write this post. Last night I told someone I wasn't going to come out of my room until the kitchen was clean. And it was! Thank you to the guys! My husband made bisquits & sausage gravy, scrambled eggs and orange juice ...another man brought bacon. And now my kitchen is all clean and Charles is out mowing the lawn while I was adding some Miracle Grow to my gardens. Everything is growing great now that the air has a little moisture in it and it's been raining each day. I will try to post a picture soon. 

Droughts

The days have been warm enough this week to turn on the cooler around 1pm and keep it on until evening. It does a great job cooling down the house.  It's a swamp cooler, not air conditioning. And it's very effective here in this very dry climate. I think it's a lot drier here than it is in Phoenix....my lips get chapped quite often.

We are praying for rain. They've had a few years of drought here and there are now 4 big forest fires raging in the mountains around us...not our mountain range, but near enough to see the smoke. Last night I could hear the thunder and saw a few sprigs of lightning light up my living room window, but the rain did not fall on our neighborhood. I go out every morning and walk through the powdery dust of our front yard and water my little vegetable garden. The birds all fuss at me to fill the bird bath with water. There is never any moisture left in it 24 hours later.

The other night I was invited to eat dinner with a church friend. Our husbands were both out of town, so we planned a visit. She lives at the very top of a mountain. We sat out on the patio as the sun went down behind us and watched the mountain ranges change colors, the smoke from distant fires blew down the valleys and the lights of the nearby neighborhoods and then of Santa Fe came up and glistened as we chatted. Hummingbirds zipped all around our heads by the dozens! I think there were about 2 dozen of them at least, coming to her feeders to get their last sips of the day. A few times we saw 10-12 birds on one feeder, all sitting shoulder to tiny shoulder, heads popping up occasionally to peep at each other. I loved it! There were also all sorts of birds at other feeders and coming to drink at the pond and waterfall in front of us. She and her husband had very lovingly made an oasis in the dry climate. Plants, flowers and water all carefully placed and planned out, chairs and pathways in just the right places to catch the different venues of wildlife, nature and views.

We talked about our lives, where we'd lived, our families, our coming to know Christ. We talked about our love for the area and for nature. And we talked about how dear it is to have such a great fellowship of Christian friends here in the middle of this spiritually arid climate of secular society. That doesn't just happen and it is more and more dear, the older I get.  I realized that has to be carefully and lovingly cultivated as well. It takes spending time together, just sitting together in the quiet evening, chatting about life or in each others' homes learning to better handle the Word of Truth.

As darkness came, her solar lighting came on and the landscaping made it's own little island of glowing lights. I realized it was time to drive back home. The mountain road seemed endless in the pitch black night (oh, I dislike driving by myself at night) and I was never so glad to see the main highway and know I was back to other people, to streetlights and the sure way home.

I feel the same way about our little church here, so blessed to have this community in this culturally arid climate. We need the rain, so the land will flourish again. It's nice to be in an oasis of life to enjoy when the land is so starved and dry. It's a vivid picture to me of what else we're missing....God's Word and Spirit to flow out of the oasis, so the dry souls will flourish too.

God, bless the land with rain, but most of all, bless the people here. The fires are ravaging the land, but the enemy is ravaging the people with false beliefs and sin. Send refreshing showers and the life-giving nourishment of Your Truth. Let Your love flow through Your servants like rain blesses a dry land.....

God help us after the storms

It's the time of year for dust devils. This past week I've seen dozens of them on the horizon as we drive along. Tall funnels of dust and debri towering up into the sky.

The wind here can be strong in the spring. I often have to put my folding camp chairs back upright when I go outside. Once when Maggie and I were waiting in the car for Charles at the gas company I pointed out about 70 tumbleweeds piled up on their chain link fence, frozen in mid-tumble. She looked at them and asked, "Those are tumbleweeds?"  and at that moment the wind shifted and those tumbleweeds all came tumbling at us like a stampeding herd. We both squealed because it was startling and funny. For about 30 seconds it seemed like we were being attacked by them, barreling at us and scratching on the car.

Today the wind just seemed like a very bad memory, knowing what damage it caused across the middle of the United States.

Then this morning my husband got an email from someone who just moved from this area. His former neighbor's son had just died. Charles met him briefly while helping this friend pack his truck for the move, so he felt compelled to minister to him. As we drove out to their house in the next town over, he explained to me what had happened. The man's grown son had been helping roof another neighbor's house when a gust of wind lifted the roof off beneath him and hurled him down. He was found in the rubble 300 feet away.

That was on Monday, the same day as the Moore, Oklahoma tornado.

Today was calm, sunny, and peaceful. No one answered the door of the house, although the driveway was filled with cars and trucks. The wind whipped around the house.... they were probably in the back having lunch and didn't hear the knocking. So Charles left a sympathy card with his phone number on the porch, held there with a large rock so the wind wouldn't steal it away.

Dust devils spiraled up on the open fields. I counted 8-10 of them on the way back home. I had no fascination for them today, only sadness.

“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 1 Kings 19:11-12

After the wind blows through and the violence of the storm is over, God is there in the gentle whisper, in the aftermath while we are standing there disheveled and bewildered, quiet and solemn.
He is there. God help us in the wake of the storms.

Divine encounter

About 6 years ago my husband, Charles, flew to Oklahoma City to pick up a car his brother wanted our daughter Bethany to have. He visited for a day or two and then started the drive back. And around Albuquerque he began to realize this car was not going to make it back to Phoenix. In fact, it died....cracked head gasket (whatever that is, I don't usually ask). He called home to tell me he was spending the night in Albuquerque with a friend of a friend. He just happened to make the connection because he called our friend Dave to ask car advice. Dave called his friend in that city and the friend dropped everything to come and rescue my husband.

He not only gave him a ride. He arranged for towing, invited Charles back to stay at his family home for the night and fed him dinner. I remember Charles saying they were people you felt like you've always known, so friendly, hospitable and kind. The next morning Dave came from Arizona to help Charles tow the car back home but he always remembered this friend of Dave's who had come to his rescue. He said he wanted to find him and invite him to dinner and to visit our new church once we moved here to Albuquerque.

You never know Who is listening when you say things like that.... ;)

The other day we went to switch to New Mexico driver's licenses. We thought it would be quick and easy, but they require you bring documents to prove your residency and also your social security cards. As we headed away from the window, the woman helping us happened to mention that if our social security cards were laminated, they would not accept them. Ehnn, yeah, about that. Years ago we did laminate them before seeing the instructions not to on the back side. So she said we had to go to the social security office and get new ones. Sssssigh...

This was our mission this morning. We headed out with our passports, old social security cards, birth certificates, etc. We did not want to be turned away because we didn't have the right documents. I had no idea this was such a big deal. As we headed in to the office, there was a security check point, metal detector and 4 police officers checking us out. Then we entered a room of about 50 people sitting in plastic chairs, waiting for their number to be called to talk to someone about their social security needs. It did not look like fun. Drat those laminating machines!

We waited to be checked in and given a number so that we could wait some more. But when we got to the front of the line, Charles beamed and called out his old friend of a friend's name. He was the one checking people in! We were all just smiling and thinking it was an amazing chance meeting. He and Charles had a wonderful few moments of connecting again. Then, just as amazing, he said he would get us to a window right away so we wouldn't have to wait in those plastic chairs with those 50 other people and then shuttled us to the next window.

I usually don't like to take cuts, but boy oh boy....that was meant to be and we appreciated it so much. The woman helping us had us out of there in about 5 minutes. And the old friend assured us he would come visit the church in a week and come to dinner with us afterwards.

Maybe....instead of that friend being there to cut us a break, we were probably the ones who he needed to connect with. I hope he comes to our little church and finds out what God is doing in his life.

Very cool morning. You never know what a day will hold, do you?

Under Construction

The main street in front of our church is under major construction.

Tonight I thought it was a very appropriate picture of what is happening to our church too.

The Light Rail system that is going in on that street will soon be bringing all sorts of new people and businesses there. I am excited to hear how God will work there in the coming years too, because He is doing construction and bringing new people to the church as well.

Sometimes that means things look torn up for a while.

But it's not a bad thing....it's just preparation for change.

Remembering to remember

-Tonight was my last time to cook the Wednesday night church supper...I'm waffling between feeling sentimental and shouting "Wheeee!"  I did love doing it most of the time....sometimes, not.
-I really need to hyper-focus on Jesus right now. Too much distraction everywhere and hello, it's holy week! My focus has astigmatism....keeps changing. The blog Holy Experience really helps me to remember what's important, check it out!
-I keep forgetting it's Easter this Sunday (see above bullet point). It's getting embarrassing. I do have a lot going on, but I think there is nothing more important right now that remembering.

-Time is starting to fly with all the packing and good-bying. It is hard to imagine all the changes that will take place next month.
-Caught the last half of American Idol tonight. This is the time during each season when I start watching....they've finally gotten down to the good ones.
-Sam's Club gave out samples of chocolate covered strawberries today....I had two.

-Tonight there was a lovely full moon...

Focus

Join me.

I'm praying for the church to lift up the Lord tomorrow, all focus on Him.

No distractions, spiritual or emotional. 

No eyes on ourselves.

Just on Jesus.

Kinda like this:

When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” 

Luke 19:37-40

The bigger picture

....your purpose in life...

Some friends were discussing this last night. Immediately we started thinking of what we do....we are mothers, we serve in the church in various ways... and then one of my friends said, but really those things may pass away....children grow up and move on and we may not always serve in the same ways. But what is our purpose...and immediately a saying came to my mind. At first I wondered if it was a Bible verse, but when I searched it on the internet, it came up as the motto of the Navigators organization.

To know Christ and make Him known.

I like that. Simple but full. 

1. Love God-to know Christ.

2. Love others-help them to know Christ. 

The greatest 2 commandments.

Being a wife, mom, worker in church, home, or profession....these are the things we do, our roles. But our purpose as followers of Christ is to know Him and make Him known. At least I want it to be my purpose. It really helps define your life and heart when you come down to your one thing. If we are making our roles in life our one thing, we're not putting Christ first, but purposes that are temporal.

All of this is helping me to process with my friends our call from God to another place. I keep trying to clearly define for them why we are leaving.  But if He is clearly calling us, how could we not go?

My daughter Maggie, 15, who is moving with us and clearly feels the call also, wrote this last night on Facebook:

If God asked you to do something utterly crazy, would you have the guts to do it? What if He asked you to do something you really really don't want to do? Would you obey? Would you give your life for Him? Would you give Him a second thought? So many people get so caught up in their own life that they forget to look at the bigger picture. They forget the REAL purpose of their life. Life is an adventure that God gave us and he has the road picked out that He wants us to take. It may look a little scary now, but once you get going you will see that is was well worth it! :) Bring it on.

 She totally gets it. She hopes her friends will get it too. "It's not about me, it's about God," this life. And if we make it all about God, there are rich rewards along the way....like the friendships we've made here and amazing things God has let us see happen. If we had never come here, we wouldn't have had those friendships and experiences. So now can you see why we're excited to go? God has more out there, so we're going to follow. Not perfectly at all, just the best we can.

It's going to be worth it to see God's plan for our current church and for our next church unfolding in the next year or two. I hope we can all focus on Jesus and what He is calling each of us to do and not on the loss of a person's role in our life.... We're each on a journey with Christ and He's blessed us to come together on a part of it. I wouldn't have wanted to miss that.

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

Transitions are hard

Well I failed on my Lent commitment to blog each day until Easter.

But I have an excuse.

We had a pretty big announcement to make on Sunday and the distraction of worrying about how people might react had me waiting to say something here.

Charles had to announce to our church that we are going to be moving soon to another church (near Albuquerque). God has been putting it on our hearts for a year now, so we've had time to process it, lay our lives down to it and then get excited about it.

But it feels cruel to be excited about moving on when your dear friends are grieving because it is a brand new thought to them. ......this part of ministry life is really hard. The pits. No likey. Bleh.

But...
    ....right now, somewhere out there, God is putting
           .....an inkling
                  ....in the heart and mind of another pastor,
who will be the one to bring this church,
our dear church family,
      ....to the next step He has for it.

Change is the hardest when it involves parting paths with people who are dear to you. I understand it fully because we've done this before.

And each time God heals the hurt, keeps the relationships special and refined with time....and He gives new and fresh relationships and ideas and projects and ministries.

It is good and it will be okay....good, in fact. Just wait and see.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, 

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Jeremiah 29:11

P.S. I will write about the new church soon in another post, when the time is right.

Confidants and Comrades

Even though it was small group night at my own house, I slipped away to see my secret friends tonight. We ate fruit, tea and chocolate cake. We watched a dvd teaching session by Jennifer Rothschild about how God formed us with His own hands, so His fingerprints are all over us, like a child's fingerprints in soft play dough when they are done smooshing it around. And it makes us so beautiful and honored by Him. And that should instill in us an honor for Him in our lives...to live a life worthy of His calling.

When the dvd was over we sat comfortably and chatted about our lives. We only see each other twice a month, so there is a lot of catching up to do. ;) For three years we have met together and shared a lot of our lives with each other. All of us are ministry wives and each one has been through so much in just 3 years! We reviewed it tonight and remembered how this group has been supportive through personal struggles, church struggles, job changes, sickness and surgeries, children's marriages, heartaches, adoptions and deaths of family members. We have also rejoiced and celebrated with each other whole-heartedly in the victories in ministry and in each other's personal lives.

At the end they decided to gather round and pray for me. I sat there with each of their hands on my head, back and arm and felt so loved and affirmed by these wonderful women of God. Then they began to sing, praying in song for God to be glorified in our lives and our churches. The whole thing reminded me of this Scripture,

For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Zephaniah 3:17 

Springing forward

At sunset this evening it was warm enough to take our walk in short sleeves.

Smells vividly wafted out of yards and houses as we passed by. It seemed like all the plants were releasing their scent to the warm spring air. Someone was barbecuing meat, another was running their drier with a very fragrant drier sheet, the houses with little backyard farms smelled like...eh, backyard farms.

The sky was so pink. And as we turned a corner to go from eastbound to south, we were amazed by the fiery sunset to our right. A man was standing on top of his house looking at it too. The smell of a marginally legal substance trailed down to the street from his perch.

Distant traffic, dogs scolding us as we passed by, and crunching leaves under our feet were the background music to my husband's voice as he spilled out hopes, dreams and plans for the year of ministry ahead of him. If you ever want to hear what's in his head, just put on your tennies and head out for a walk beside him.

Spring is a time for new beginnings and fresh starts, renewal of hope and a new spark of energy.

Here's to spring.

Practicing

Sitting in my small group circle last night listening to them discuss our book chapter, I had more than a little significant revelations in my own thoughts.

We are reading a book by John Ortberg on spiritual disciplines, but they aren't your ordinary list like 1) Have a quiet time, 2) Pray at least 30 minutes per day...early in the morning because that's more spiritual, 3) Give tithes and offerings 4) Use your spiritual gift and serve your local church.

The disciplines he writes about are more motivation disciplines like
-the practice of celebration
-practicing living in an unhurried way
-cultivating the right motivations for prayer
-serve people, put them first
-confessing your sins to others
-listening to the Holy Spirit
-the practice of secrecy
-true meditation on Scripture
-having a well ordered heart
-enduring suffering in life

The chapter we were on last night was on the practice of secrecy. Not tooting your own horn and being the hypocrite standing in the square spouting the good works you've racked up this week.

Wow, that is convicting. As we discussed this it was evident that I need to evaluate who I am seeking to please and why I mention certain things. I do feel God's approval in my life...but I do seek the applause of people more than I should. Or should I at all? sheesh! My thinking is needing a tune up.

I'm so glad we're reading this book. It's called The Life You've Always Wanted. And I think I do want it....not because it's a way to get God to answer my prayers or be blessed by Him.

   These spiritual disciplines are not easy.
                There is not checklist about them,
                       ...they are more like purging and setting your motivation right.
But because there is JOY in that kind of life.
       It's GOOD.
            It's rewarding and it's freedom.

I want that. hmmm

Moonstruck over Manhattan

Our company has been fun and we're glad they are here (a pastor and wife from California). They came in the door and I told them they had to put puzzle pieces into my coffee table sized puzzle before they could eat. And they believed me! And now they are hooked.  So we've been working on this 1,000 piece mostly black, white and yellow scene of New York City at night. It's mostly done now and it's at that obsessive stage where you can't step away. (which is why I'm writing this at almost 1am)

I live in a house with 3 intuitive people. I'm the only sensing one since Bethany moved out.  I am guessing that is why they just shake their heads at me when I ask them to help me with the puzzle. Details are like a foreign language to those people. Charles and Maggie both tried to help one time each and I had to redo their sections.

And I guess puzzle pieces are delicious because the dog keeps eating them! She gets mad when we leave the house sometimes and we come home to find a few soggy pieces of puzzle on the carpet.

Now it's a 993 piece puzzle. Bad dog.

I'm driving Emma to her first grown up women's retreat in the morning to Prescott. So I'll get in on a little of the retreat before I go home. I miss being there this year!

Merging

We had our small group here tonight. It's always a good time of meshing lives with each other. But tonight our former members who had to drop out for a while came back. They actually hijacked the night we meet and then informed us. They really wanted to be in the group again. So it's all worked out for Tuesdays and it was great to be together again.

Bruce told us he wants everyone to have their testimony ready to share at some point in the next few meetings. So that was the topic in the kitchen.  I got to hear my friend Donna's amazing testimony of how God has brought her through the past 15 years. I know God is always working, but when someone tells me the story of their faith journey it amazes me to hear how He has worked in their lives. How things connect up to show us His will, how He spoke to them or how His care was in the details of each event that happened. God's working is so personal and specific to each person. Always a unique story, always such a creative work.

And it's not about them and what a strong person they are to have gone through all they did. It's about God and how He's brought us through, so faithful to us all the way. Tonight I was amazed once again to hear this friend's story. I've known her for 6 years now, but have never heard all of her story. Why don't we make the time for that...

I'm so glad that's what small group is all about!

Tapestry retreat 2012

The women's retreat this past weekend was such a fun time....and very meaningful personal growth began for lots of us too. Because it would take a few pages to tell you ALL about it, I will just hit the highlights....


-Riding up with a Chris Tomlin concert going on in the back seat. :) (I was in the front seat enjoying it)
-The weather was AMAZING.
-Stars
-Watching women diligently try to roast HUGE marshmallows over sterno cans, then try to make s'mores with them.
-Fun speakers, Patty and Lisa from Girlfriendit.
-Being a mocha, highly entertained by all the chai-s, lattes and espressos.
-Pondering the turning points in our lives in following such a great God.
-Sticky notes, sticky notes, sticky notes.
-Mailboxes....with mail.
-Ice cream in the park. Popcorn tasting. Dogs.
-Margie and the Walmart greeter.
-Sam Elliott look-a-likes everywhere....gee, Prescott, what is up with that?
-Earplugs
-We like Ike.
-That crazy lady who makes us sing Day by Day in the cafeteria.
-Sticky notes on my back.....sticking stickies to everyone else as fast as I could.
-Remembering what God has brought me to, from, through, watching other people remember too.
-Merrit singing the first verse of Revelation Song in a beautiful voice!
-A huge gust of wind blowing in one door and out the other while I had my hands raised singing Revelation Song. Wind going over me like a visitation. Laughing at all the reactions to the wind.
-Wanting to leave the doors open a crack every time we sang after that happened, just in case, expectantly.
-Skit night, getting carried away---vague but very real threats of retaliation if skit night photos begin showing up in public! !!
-Sandwich board fashion show.
-Great, hot....cakes! lol
-Seeing the young women turn red.
-The coffee shop skit!
-Marchell and Shirley as identical twins.
-Good coffee
-Kelly under my bed trying to scare me.
-Making Margie laugh.
-Hiking and Prayer Cabin with Jo Ann.
-No traffic on the way home.
-Going home.
-Wanting to go back to camp. :)
-Sunday night. zzzzzzz

When healing is a long process

Cute little saying, but isn't it the truth! The world is crazy scary these days and it's hard to keep from dwelling on fearful things. I saw this on the internet this morning and laughed. But as God often does, He showed me later on in the day how He is a God of bringing all things together to teach us things and catch our attention.

Today I listened to a podcast of GirlfriendIt radio and it was this very principle (not feeding your fears but putting on a brave face) that led Sandy Tremp into a  total mental breakdown. She had emotionally and mentally distanced herself from some horrible childhood traumas. She locked it away, not knowing how to process it as a child. Then one day the repressed memories came flooding back. She collapsed and had to be hospitalized, incapacitated by fear and shame.  Through years of counseling and support, she says that she not only survived childhood abuse, but has finally learned to  thrive in God's healing and victory. She and her husband Scott wrote a book about actively pushing through Sandy's healing process instead of repressing it. It's called Surviving Life.

I encourage you to listen to this GirlfriendIt session and then ......maybe listen to it again to catch what you missed. If you have discovered repressed trauma or have trauma that haunts you every day; if you have friends or loved ones who are going through this or want to know how to respond in case anyone ever confides this kind of thing to you, I really hope you'll listen and gain more understanding about how to be sensitive to people with this issue.

As a minister's wife, I see a glimpse of the damage childhood abuse does to a person's life and I think it's something that really needs more attention, response and action from the church.

I have a young friend who asked if she could talk to me one day about 4 years ago. She was exhibiting some outward signs of inward troubles. Cutting herself was becoming a habit that she could no longer control and she was afraid. After many meetings to talk about the cutting, and encouraging her to tell her parents, she told me one day that she needed to tell me something. We sat down and talked about a few things and then she began to cry. I told her to take her time. I had no idea what the words were that she needed to release from her mind. Then she took a piece of paper and wrote on it, then she handed it to me and turned away weeping. "I was raped," the paper read.

She had carried this secret in her head for 7 years, from the time she was 10 years old. It was her shame and her curse. I was the first person she ever told. After we cried and hugged, I asked her how she felt. She said she was glad she told me, glad it was out there.....glad to have someone to share the burden and help her. There is freedom in confession, even though it wasn't her sin (not at all!), it was her burden. But that isn't the end.

A friend's sympathetic listening ear is a great gift to someone who is processing a trauma, but they usually need to find professional help as well. Often times after they confess the event out loud, they go through even more turmoil and outward self-defeating behaviors as their mind tries to understand and process it. That is what happened to my friend, and in late January we said goodbye to her for a year as she goes to an in house treatment and counseling center. She was excited to go though. She was ready to push through and begin really healing and getting the help she needs. I am so proud of her.

Allen McCray also gave some great tips on developing a healthy and positive self identity while you face the traumas in your own life. One of those is to be more "self compassionate".  Extend to yourself the compassion that you would to a friend who also had past issues to deal with. That way we are not sliding into self condemnation as we process our past, but letting God work powerfully in our lives to give overcoming victory and healing. Wouldn't that be something.....if we could help each other, give each other the permission to not have it all together, and go from trying to put  a brave face on top of our mess, into truly abundant life and freedom in Christ?

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3: 12-14

The 4th Day of Emma

I wish I had taken some pictures, but I was too busy enjoying myself to think of it!

Christmas Eve found us bustling around getting the house ready for Christmas. Charles took us all to Olive Garden for a late lunch, then a third of our group went to music rehearsal for the evening service. I love Christmas Eve candlelight church service. It feels warm and people are all aglow, hugging and handing each other cards or little gifts.

We worshiped God in song and spirit. We got hot wax treatments on our hands. ;) Part of the fun of a candlelight service is the delicate balance of keeping the dripping wax on your little flat paper candle skirt. The candle won...

On the way home we stopped by a house in our old neighborhood. Every December they put up an elaborate light display and the man of the house, who is a very talented engineer of some kind, sets the lights to music and they are really the best I've ever seen! He puts together a half hour production with various types of Christmas music, from Mannheim Steamroller to Veggie Tales I Can't Believe It's Christmas and Bing Crosby. So fun!

Another tradition is to watch The Polar Express on Christmas Eve just before bed. We turn up the surround sound so it feels like the train is coming through our family room. When it was over I mentioned quietly how creepy that movie is and my daughters were all saying, "YES, it is! I wondered if I was the only one who was creeped out by it!" haha So after the creepy Christmas movie.....

For the first time....

EVER....

...we opened gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning! Very nontraditional and strange, but of course it was fun and this year it was necessary because the Preacher had to be at church at 9:30am. And we had to have waffles, so to save us from frantic chaos on Christmas morning, we opened gifts.

When your children start becoming young adults, the presents are not as exciting or fun to open, but we did have one exciting gift. When we were all done and about to clean up the debri the Christmas tree started to play music box type music. We all just stared at it for a few seconds and then we sent Maggie to find the music box.

And it wasn't a music box. It was a cell phone. Maggie's first cell phone.

And there has been rejoicing and texting ever since.