Scotch Cake

I spent all day trying to bake what some people call a Texas sheet cake. In my family I grew up calling it a Scotch Cake...not sure if it's because the great-grandma who called it that was Scottish or because it had scotch in it. (the recipe doesn't call for it but someone may have changed it)

Anyway, I needed to make a cake for a funeral dinner and wanted to make something nice that fed a lot of people. I started making it before lunch and realized I had no cocoa powder. A couple hours later (after picking up Maggie from school, taking a boy home and then picking up and waiting on the Emma to finish cleaning my sister's house..oh, and going to the grocery store) I continue making it. But before adding the wet to the dry ingredients I decided I'd better double it. It is a labor intensive recipe, boiling the butter and cocoa, etc...an hour later I am just putting it in the pan.

A mountain of dishes and making the frosting and putting that on...it ended up taking HOURS to make it. It's yummy though. With the double recipe it made half a sheet cake and a small pan for us at home. I took the half sheet pan to the church for the funeral meal. The cm whose dad died ended up raving about the cake and wanted to take every scrap of it home.

So it was worth it in the end.

The end.

Here is the exact recipe I used (although I made it without nuts today)....Pioneer Woman has gotten a hold of it somehow. Texas Sheet Scotch Cake

You can be free indeed...

Saturday night my husband had a preaching gig at a downtown mission. We used to do this regularly in seminary in the mid 80's...he or some other seminary student would preach to a bunch of drunk guys and then we would hang around and talk to people and go home feeling a bit drained but good about ourselves.

This was a little different though.

It is a rescue mission, but it's not the usually sort of drop in after a long day of binge drinking sort of place. It's a live in discipleship place where men are recovering from alcohol or drug addiction, lives of crime and homelessness and they are finding Life. They come in as a mess (aren't we all?) and after detoxing, they are immediately required to be a part of the Bible study programs, Scripture memory, and community service. Every day they are kept busy doing good things. They spend so much time together and have come from the same desperate backgrounds that they bond very tightly. They go through so much healing and life learning together that they Love each other deeply.

All of this was so obvious as we went in to the worship service. The rough looking exteriors were softened by God's love pouring through the more seasoned men who have been in the program for a while. The new ones who were still in the detox phase or maybe had just arrived 'fresh' from the back alleys sat alone and held back while the regulars put an arm around them, went to sit beside them or motioned for them to come sit with them. Everyone was welcome, loved and respected.

Pastor Jack, who came to the mission as one of these men needing help years ago, told us that so many of the men go back to the streets after a while. He doesn't pressure them. He tells them that they are welcome to come back when they decide they are done with it. They will be welcomed back in.

Everything that happened was a whole blog post in itself. There was a dog roaming freely around, getting pats and hugs from the men who were themselves desperate to be loved and desperate to have someone, even a little dog, to show love to.

There was a recognition part of the service for men who had completed 4 months in the program and one for a man who had completed 8 months. They each spoke words of thanks, mostly to God, but also to the men who had walked alongside them through the process. One of them read a paper that was full of words. It was a page full of Bible verses he'd clung to during his time there. All different places in the Bible, but strung together to show what he'd learned....

...my rod and my staff will lead you and comfort you....you were called to greatness....I will give back what was taken...I will restore honor to you....

Those are just a few I jotted down, but the words of strength went on for a good 3 or 4 minutes.

Then Pastor Jack showed the congregation an award the city had given to the mission. It was in recognition of all the community service those men had done. They go out into the neighborhoods they took from and used to destroy and they clean them up and give back. They take the men back to try to help restore what they took. How cool would that be if we all practiced that?

The worship band was made up of various men, all but one had been through the program, who were professional musicians before ending up in lives of addiction. So it was some good music. My ears had that hissing sound in them for a while after it was over because it was loud, but we loved it. As the band played, sang and led the people in worship to Audio Adreneline, Switchfoot and Skillet songs of worship, the people danced, sang, smiled huge smiles, and tears ran freely. Beautiful, sincere, unencumbered and free worship.

Charles and I both said they need to come do a service for our church sometime. It would not be the same because people who don't have problems are not as free.

Think about that....I am lately...

Of course we all have problems and sin issues....we just hide them so well (even though we're full of it) and pretend it's not there so well (even though it's obvious), that we are not as free.

Contradictory... because Jesus came to make us free (indeed....remember?). But in order to be free, you've got to be real, you have to be vulnerable and humbled. There has to be Truth. And did I mention the name of the mission?

It's Set Free.

Jesus said, "I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can't come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through. John 8:34-36 (The Message)

Point me...in the direction of Albuquerque...

Left Phoenix about 1:15pm.

Places along the road we've traveled so many times zip by as we sit in silence for a while. The red rock ridge of Sedona looked like it was freshly painted and the San Francisco Peaks rose up like Kilimanjaro behind it. Lovely day for driving.

The lowering sun in the west made the rock formations along the border at Window Rock and Gallup look really dramatic as we talk of current events. The world events that are shaking up the world are coinciding with shaking personal lives of so many people we know! What is the deal? We listened on Klove radio to people discussing an appropriate (or honest?) reaction to Osama Bin Laden's death. Yeah, it feels conflicting, weirdly relieving as well as sad beyond all reason.

Then later we listened to NPR reporting on lives affected by the tornadoes in Alabama. Nearly 400 people have been found dead and about that many are still missing and presumed dead. A woman was being interviewed by an NPR reporter. The reporter (deadpan voice, as is NPR's style) said the woman, "like many of the people here in the Bible Belt of the South" credited God as saving her life through the storm. As the woman looked through the ruble of what used to be her apartment for any kind of proof of residency so that she could apply for aid, the noticeable smell of death was in the air, as many people from her apartments have not been recovered yet and are there beneath the ruble still. (I cannot imagine this kind of horror) Then she found a piece of paper, a letter from her grandchild's teacher and there was her name and address on the envelope. "Thank you, Lord!" she said. She said it like the Lord was standing there with them. And He is, thankfully. The NPR reporter just closed with that woman's jubilant exclamation of thanks and "this is yada yada, reporting from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, for NPR".

In just the same way, as we see some of our friends and church members going through really tough times, there is always some ray of hope a message or gift from God that comes up in their lives, like a gleaming white envelope among that woman's collapsed home, and they give thanks in the middle of their storm too. Sometimes you just have to grab hold of the Hope among the ruble, and the stench of wrecked lives, and give credit to the One who is the revealer of Hope.

We have arrived in Albuquerque now (someone is already rumbling and poofing beside me) and tomorrow we'll head to Oklahoma City to visit with family before driving down to Plainview to fetch our college girl, who we've missed dearly, and bring her back home with us. In a month Hannah will move home too and we will all live together under the same roof again for the first time in almost 6 years.....for the summer at least. And there will be great rejoicing under that roof by some proud parents, who I know...of. ;)

Distractingly Perfect morning

While trying to read my Bible on the back porch today, I was driven away by the huge, black, jumbo jet bumble bee that lives in the hollow tree by my wicker chair. My Bible literally became my shield and then my sword. God can be so funny with the word pictures sometimes.

It is just one bee that hovers around that tree. I am wondering...do they live alone? Are there more bees in there? It was warm out there this morning and the sun was shining right on that tree. It seemed like he was not in a good frame of mind, so I came in. I gave up easily and retreated. Will he remember this tomorrow and buzz me again, knowing how easily I am driven away by distraction and fear? Insert life application lesson here.....and it's so true for me.

Settling back on the couch inside, away from anything unexpected, I open my computer to read the first chapter of Colossians in safer territory. But before I read, I notice my dog looking at me.

Ummm, my dog is holding a grudge against me. Dogs do that. I won't let her get up on my new couches in the living room. Yesterday we were in there all day setting everything up, reloading shelves and hanging pictures. Every time I sat on the couch she would jump up with me. At first I would pet her, then it would instantly dawn on me that this was my new beige couch and I would push her down and call her bad. She wasn't getting the idea, so I gave her a small swat, which was the final straw for her. Confused, she just sat on the floor giving me "sidelong glances that were vague but somehow threatening". She is part French poodle after all. (Don't worry if you don't understand that last part...my kids will. Google for explanation....this post is already A.D.D. enough.)

So here I am on the couch, and she is over on the floor glancing at me with a grudge in her heart. So distracting....I can't stand it when people are mad at me. (especially when the person is my dog)

Focus now, I can do this, I finally got to reading Colossians 1. It is perfect Truth for Good Friday. (What else would I expect from God's Word?)

For God in all his fullness
was pleased to live in Christ,
and through him God reconciled
everything to himself.

He made peace with everything
in heaven and on earth
by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.
Colossians 1:19-20

Earlier this morning as I drove Maggie to school, the morning radio show host was talking about the famous sermon, "It's Friday, but Sunday's comin'" by Tony Campolo, since today is Good Friday. They were comparing, as we humans so inadequately do, Jesus' suffering on Friday and resurrection on Sunday to our suffering in life and how some Day Jesus is coming back to end all suffering.

Our lives do include suffering here on earth. I've heard of so much suffering lately in people's lives....so much.

...but Sunday's coming. Jesus is coming....and it's not so far away.

Don't let yourself be distracted. Latch on to perfect Truth and God's peace today as you remember. I am trying to also. I need to go snuggle my dog now.

Funny Honey

My husband is so funny...and it's usually my job to point it out.

1. We were outside today, sitting peacefully on the back porch, when a gigantic black bumble bee came buzzing by me. (I call them jumbo jets)

I screamed "BEE!!!!" (I think I was flapping my arms and legs at the same time too)

He just looked at me and asked "What???"

I said "It's a BEE!" and he said, "Oh, I thought you were calling me." Then he just shook his head like he was relieved that he didn't have to call the paddy wagon.

I do call him B, but I never shriek it at the top of my lungs while I'm sitting right beside him. I've been laughing over it all day.

2. I checked Facebook this morning and on his profile page, it said he had 666 friends. So I posted a comment that he should notice that and add another person to his list. He wrote back that he actually needed 111 more friends.

3. I have been carefully saving up money to buy a new couch, socking away money little by little in a certain hiding place. Lately he has taken to looking at guitars on ebay, so he suggested that instead of a couch, he could get a new guitar. He was teasing me but he has a certain look in his eye....

...and I changed my hiding place. :\

Thanksgiving Practice

Some dear sisters and I were challenged this week to make Mondays thankful.

We are taking Mondays just to thank God for what He is doing...not asking Him for anything, but thanking Him for working, for blessing, for leading in the lives of those we are praying for. For me, it is helping to remind me that He IS working because we are praying for people.

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16b

Cool huh? (all of James 5, read it!)

Practicing this all day (trying to remember to practice it) really encouraged my heart and inspired such Hope as I thanked God for what He was doing in people's lives and for me. I never ran out of things to thank Him for either.

Ministry of silence

Don't you agree that ministry happens very effectively outside the church walls as well as within?

Like an evening spent on a back patio by fire-light....mouth shut, ears open, sympathy and love almost tangible. The darkness like a cloak of privacy and assured trust. A dear friend who has an ongoing, long term issue pouring out her heart. Sometimes we have heard it all before, but a person needs to process again, revisit thoughts, uninterrupted, no advice offered.

Just prayer and no other words. Just understanding.

It's a blessing and a huge ministry. This is why tens of thousands of women go to professional counselors every year. (and I am notnotnot saying they shouldn't) Could we just do that more for each other? We could save our dear friends thousands of dollars and help them to trust the body of Christ again if we could do this and then keep that cloak of privacy around that sacred trust.

...and for no reason break it.

Fragrant Life

While sitting out on my back patio today, the fragrance of orange blossoms kept visiting my nose. I love that smell...it makes me close my eyes and breath in deeply. It was like God was illustrating the passage I was reading right then,

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

I love it when that happens! I want to be an orange blossom...

For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. 2 Corinthians 2:15-16

Anxiety and contentment

I relaxed today. The tension went out of my jaw and I didn't look around with a panicky feeling (like someone is coming up behind me) once!

Charles got home from his trip to Africa this morning. So for two weeks I've been on alert, on guard, watching my own back. I can't help the natural tendency but it does bother me a lot.

I have already admitted it to myself in the past, but I have to say it out loud and type it out there to you. I think I put more trust in my husband than I do in God sometimes.....especially with daily, practical security. My feeling of contentment in life leans more toward my tangible partner.

I did stay all by myself in the new place one night while he was away. A few nights ago Maggie was spending the night with a friend and Bethany could not come over (even though I kind of whined to her) because of work. As it turned out though, I was glad I did it. The ladies in my Bible study that evening prayed for me and I gave my anxiety about being alone to the Lord before heading back to bed. And then I had to trust.....forced myself not to think about any anxious thought and went about my routine. The next morning I felt like I'd had a break through spiritually.....a small one, but it was significant for me.

I guess feeling incomplete when your husband is away is alright. It's kind of natural. And I am glad he makes me feel more secure when he's here. But I know I can do it if he is not. It was a step of faith to not let the anxious thoughts develop because I have a very vivid imagination and my mind can invent some scary possibilities.

I just thought I'd share my little faith/trust building event because I know it is a common problem. Trust Him and then squelch the chatter of the anxious thoughts.

The verse I have always gone back to for setting my mind straight is Philippians 4:6-9. Here it is in The Message paraphrase. I like it!

6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Excuses and stuff

So I guess you can tell by my last entry why I have not been blogging lately.

My husband left for a 2 week trip to Africa on the 11th and my life was complete busyness until today, when I finally had time to relax and do some things around our new place. Maybe someone was praying that I'd be kept busy so that I wouldn't worry or that time wouldn't drag by while Charles was gone.

Uhhh, thanks....?

blahblahblah: I had my own kids coming and going from Texas and California, my brother and his daughter coming for a rare visit from Maryland and Georgia, a wedding to go to, events to cook for, meeting one of my daughters' boyfriend for the first time, along with running realtor errands and emptying out our former home. Oh yes, and the kitchen sink fiasco....and figuring out how to move our old refrigerator to the neighbor's, which they bought from us. (Special thanks to friend Larry who helped me with both of those!) And while we were moving the fridge over, the neighbor said people had been at our old house and looked like they were having a party there, which explained why the doors were all unlocked.

So....very little time to process here on the blog. And when I did have time and came here to my blog dashboard, I would just sit here and go "duuuuuuuuuuh".

Yay: Charles comes home tomorrow morning *sighs of relief all around*, I met 2 of my neighbors, who were outside chatting tonight when I pulled into the driveway, and, of course, the shower curtain dilemma is over. I would jump for joy if I weren't so tired.